Source: Nataliya Vaitkevich (Pexels)
I grew up in Los Angeles County, which means I grew up around famous people without really knowing it.
When I was a kid, I’d bump into celebrities all the time. I just didn’t know they were celebrities. To me, they were nice strangers. Cool people. Someone who held a door open or made a joke while we waited in line. Someone who encouraged their young child to go down a large slide at the playground. It wasn’t until later, when my parents told me, or when I saw that same face on TV or in a movie, that it clicked.
Both of my parents worked in the entertainment industry, so being starstruck was never really part of my life. I never felt the need to run up to someone and gush. The most I’d ever do is tell my family or friends, “Hey, I saw so-and-so walking down the street today.” That was it. I never approached anyone. I never bothered anyone. Even as a kid, I figured they were human beings just like me. So I let them be.
That habit turned out to matter a lot more than I expected.
As I got older, I got more comfortable in my own skin. I stopped hiding from the AB/DL side of myself and started exploring it. Part of that meant going to events around Southern California — adults-only, 18+, fetish-friendly spaces where people could be open without being judged.
And that’s where I ran into celebrities again. Only this time, the setting was nothing like a coffee shop or a grocery store. These were people I recognized, in a context I never in a million years expected to see them in.
Here’s the thing: they let their guard down with me, not because I’m special, but because I made them a promise and I kept it. I vowed to respect their privacy and their confidentiality. I never pried. I never asked nosy questions. If they wanted to talk shop about AB/DL stuff, they could. If they had questions for me, I’d answer them. If they wanted to just exist in the room and be left alone, that was fine too. I was more than happy to give them all the personal space they wanted and needed.
Over time, I came to really appreciate what it meant to be trusted like that. It’s a responsibility. And I’ve never taken it lightly. I’m not going to name anyone in this article, and I never will.
I’ve since moved out of Southern California. These days, I don’t get many chances to build those kinds of connections in person. Mostly it’s a message or two on social media, here and there.
And honestly? I get why people are careful.
We live in a time where anything you put in writing can become an ugly screenshot. Every Zoom call can be recorded. Every phone call can be saved. One crack in your privacy and suddenly you’re answering awkward questions, or worse, dealing with embarrassing press coverage that follows you around forever.
I have a whole identity that exists outside of AB/DL. Most of us do. We have jobs, families, reputations, careers we’ve worked hard for. So I completely understand why someone would hesitate to network or open up about sex and kink, especially if their face is known to millions of people.
I could write this whole article as a message to famous people saying, “Hey, you can trust me.”
But that’s not the important part.
The important part is this: a lot of highly successful, well-respected people are AB/DLs.
Not fringe people. Not broken people. Not people who failed at life. I’m talking about people who built careers, earned respect, and accomplished things that most of us only dream about. They did it while also wearing diapers or dressing in a more infantile way in private.
Those two facts live in the same person at the same time. They always have.
If you’re reading this and you’ve ever thought, “Something is wrong with me,” or “I’ll never have a normal life because of this,” I want you to really sit with what I just wrote.
The AB/DL part of you is not a ceiling. It’s not a limit on how far you can go. It doesn’t cancel out your talent, your intelligence, your work ethic, or your ability to be a good partner, parent, friend, or professional.
You can be successful and still be an AB/DL. People are doing it right now. Some of them are people whose names you know.
Underneath all the fame and the polish and the red carpets, they’re just people who want to have a good time on their own terms, in private, without hurting anyone. That’s all any of us want.
And flip that around for a second. If famous, successful people can be AB/DLs, then it also means AB/DLs can be famous and successful people. It works both ways. The kink doesn’t disqualify you from anything.
If you ever find yourself in a space where you recognize someone, be cool about it. Don’t stare. Don’t take pictures. Don’t tell your group chat. Treat them the way you wanted to be treated. The Golden Rule.
Those spaces only work because people trust each other. The second that trust breaks, everybody loses — not just the famous person, but every regular person in that room who also can’t afford to be outed.
Protect each other. That’s how the community stays safe, and that’s how more people find the courage to stop hiding from themselves.
You’re not less than anyone. You never were.