Today I planned to write a retrospective about BabyFurCon 2026. Personal reasons forced me to drop out a couple of weeks before it started. Once the con began, I felt out of place. I wanted to be with friends, make new ones, build real connections, and enjoy the full four days. I will not pretend I handled the feelings well. Some days the desire for those missing connections hit hard.
This is dealing with FOMO. FOMO means the fear of missing out. It is the anxiety that other people are having more fun, better rewards, or stronger success while you are not there. Many ABDLs and furries feel this. Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook let us see curated highlights from conventions we cannot attend. When photos are missing, people still describe the good times in detail.
Our brains fear social exclusion. Long ago, being left out of the group threatened survival. We also measure our worth and happiness by comparing ourselves to others. When we cannot join in, restlessness, anxiety, lower self-esteem, loneliness, and poor sleep can follow.
How to Start Dealing with FOMO
One approach that helps is spending time with friends who are also not at the event. Manage your expectations. We get a natural boost from people who accept us as we are. Train your mind to value the good moments you can still have. Log into VRChat or Discord even for short check-ins. If you can travel, look for other chances to meet friends and keep a full schedule with them.
Keep Busy and Limit the Noise
It is normal to distract yourself. Tune out social media. Conversations and posts about the event you missed grow fast there and keep the feelings alive.
Move Your Body
Physical activity breaks mental loops fast. It creates a different chemical response in the brain. Choose activities that need focus and coordination:
- Swim laps
- Practice martial arts drills
- Rock climb
- Hike or trail run
- Do high-intensity workouts or structured fitness routines
These leave little room for the mind to wander. A changing outdoor landscape or hard physical effort anchors attention in the present.
Use Your Hands and Focus on Tasks
Working with your hands shifts attention away from screens. Try these:
- Code or troubleshoot website layouts
- Play strategy, reflex, or story-rich games
- Play board games
- Craft
- Cook detailed recipes that need close attention
These tasks demand focus and create a sense of progress.
Restore Yourself When Emptiness Hits
FOMO can leave a hollow feeling. Turn inward instead of outward. Read a book or watch a documentary on a topic you have wanted to explore. Pair a favorite meal or takeout with a comfort movie and enjoy your own space. Reach out to one close friend for a simple, low-key talk. One real conversation can quiet the vague worry about a whole missing crowd.
Special Note for ABDLs
When you cannot attend an ABDL-focused event, the usual comforts can feel complicated. Wearing diapers or acting in a more vulnerable way may feel empty compared to what you could have done at the con. If those activities still comfort you and help with FOMO, keep them. For some people they do the opposite. It is okay to take a break from ABDL activities. Stepping away for a while is fine. The same activities often feel more welcome once the FOMO period passes, like catching up with an old friend.
Missing an event hurts. The feelings are real. Simple steps like connecting with people nearby, staying active, limiting social media, and giving yourself permission to rest can make the days easier. You are still part of the community even when you cannot be there in person.